We received this message from Paddy Foster, a lesbian mom living in New Zealand. She would like to network with other lesbian moms who have lost their kids to an unfair legal system. You may communicate with her at this email address paddyf[at]paradise.net.nz.
As I live in New Zealand maybe this is not an appropriate message but I'm trying to get in touch with other mothers who had no choice but to leave their children behind. My experience is 20 years ago but the effect and the scars never leave.
I am a lesbian and tried to live a heterosexual life which obviously one cannot sustain without losing a large part of who you are. I thought having children would help but it actually isolated me even further from myself. I did try and contact other mothers through MATCH but in those days contact was hard if not impossible the internet being what it was then.
I still would like to contact other lesbians who have had this experience as I feel strongly it would help me with that support in moving forward. I started a career in nursing soon after I left my children and it has been my saving grace in many ways.
I was prevented from seeing my sons through the court system as my ex-husband was less than sympathetic. I live with the loss on a daily basis and although I am healthy and have progressed well in my profession, I would still ike to meet up with empathetic women to share the experiences. I'm not sure you can help me but would be grateful for any advice etc.